It has been almost a month since I moved to California and I think the fairy-tale elements have started to wear thin. The reality of starting over in a completely new place with no support system has really started to sink in for me. There have been some major challenges for me lately and struggles to keep my spirits high and not regress into a negative thought patterns.
I’ll be honest. There have been some really bad days. But, I call this blog 100% potential because I not only want to live my own 100% potential, but I hope I can help in some way for other people to want to reach for theirs. Growth isn’t always a pretty process. There are hard, ugly, messy days along the way to 100% potential. Steps forward and steps back.
There’s a few things I remind myself along the way.
First, there’s always a hard part before it gets good again. If it wasn’t hard then everyone would do it and everyone won’t do it because some people won’t change. Some people are content to stay the same, some are afraid of changing, and some aren’t willing to fail. I’m none of those kinds of people, so I persist. I like this quote from A League of Their Own, “Of course, it’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Hard is what makes it great.”
To get through the hard days, I’ve developed some strategies.
- Phone a friend. My friend Katie spent two and a half hours on the phone with me during a bad day last week.
- Journal. Pen. Paper. No computer. Something about writing down your thoughts, slowing them down, helps tremendously. Think of it like throwing up when you are sick. Sometimes you just gotta get it out.
- Exercise. Shoes on. Walk.
- Watch a comforting movie. For me, this is Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
- Meditation. HayHouse Meditations Podcast has been great for getting me through some less-than-optimal days.
- Read. I’ve been reading 1-2 books a week which was a very specific goal I set up myself. Holding myself accountable to that is a good way to keep my mind busy when it wants to wallow or worry.
- Remember why you started. Picture who you were a year ago. Picture what you look like if you are living up to 100% of your potential. Which one do you want to be?
Some things I have intentionally NOT done to cheer myself up:
- Eat. In the past I would have drowned my sorrows in ice cream or chocolate chip cookies. It might feel good in the moment, but that temporary fix makes for a long term problem and it still doesn’t solve whatever you were upset about in the first place. Food is fuel, not comfort.
- Shopping. See above. The burst of serotonin from purchasing a new outfit might feel good for an hour, but it doesn’t last and eventually you end up with no money and the same problems.
I decided to write about this because I would hate to portray that my move to California is nothing short of perfection. I feel like too often people try to portray their lives as perfect because they are afraid to show the scars. The truth is I love California and I’m excited to make it my home. The other side of the truth is that is REALLY hard to start over somewhere by yourself even when your intuition is telling you it is the right choice. Walking by faith alone, at least for me, is often filled with doubt, uncertainty, and insecurity. But I don’t use these as an excuse to turn back.
I will persevere.
I will strive every day for 100% potential.
And the hard will be what makes it great.