When I started this blog, it was supposed to be about my adventure of quitting my job, driving to California alone, and starting a new life and finding new opportunities out there. After six weeks of this next chapter in my life, I’ve been reminded of something:
I love to make plans. I love planners and calendars and schedules and organization. I thought I had a plan. I thought I knew the future. All the while, God was having a good ol’ chuckle! California was not a good fit and it was a negative experience. I don’t want to harp on the negativity, but reflect and look forward to the positive. I will share what I learned most from the experience: This whole idea and “plan” came after a year of personal growth and development. A path of learning to deeply and completely love and accept myself just as I am. What I didn’t fully realize until now is that when you learn to love yourself and treat yourself well, you become a lot less tolerant of people who don’t. Change can be a painful process, both when life seems to be getting worse and when it seems to be getting better. Change is hard. Period. Doesn’t matter how good or bad the change is. Part of this is experience is learning when things don’t fit anymore.
Here is what I learned doesn’t fit: old clothes because of weight loss. Old relationships because some people preferred you with low self-esteem. Old jobs or careers because of shifting interests and priorities. Don’t try to make the old fit again. It doesn’t and it is good that it doesn’t. Find your new clothes, new relationships, and new career. Or in words of the great philosopher Patrick Verona, from 10 Things I Hate About You, “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
God might have been laughing at me, but He had an amazing plan in the future beyond what I could have imagined.
Let’s back up to last October. I had been working on my self-improvement journey for about five months at that point. Out of the blue, my old college roommate Katie contacted me. Katie and I hadn’t spoken in thirteen years. We hadn’t seen each other, talked, Facebooked, anything for THIRTEEN YEARS. We started talking again. We caught up on each other’s lives. Over the next few months, our relationship grew from texting to phone calls and in March, I drove down to Charlotte to visit her and meet her husband. They were contemplating a move to San Antonio, TX because Katie is pregnant and were wanting to settle into a community, closer to family, as they begin to raise their family. Katie and I had some late night, deep conversations about many topics, but one of which was my contemplation about moving to California.
Fast forward to May and I’m in the midst of moving to California and Katie is planning her family’s move to San Antonio. I was on the phone with Katie a lot while I was in California because it wasn’t feeling right and I was so confused about how my plans were not working out. When it was finally enough and I left California, I had no idea what my next steps were going to be. I figured I would go home to Virginia but as I was driving through New Mexico, my phone rang. Here is how the conversation basically went down:
Laura: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I know California wasn’t it.”
Katie: “So where are you right now?”
Laura: “I’m in New Mexico.”
Katie: “I’m getting into San Antonio tomorrow, we can get into our new house at noon. Unpacking is going to be so stressful because Evan (her husband) has to go back to Georgia to finish up his job for three weeks. It’s going to be really lonely in that house while he’s gone.”
*my brain starts to spark*
Katie: “You know, New Mexico isn’t that far from Texas. How far are you from San Antonio?”
Laura: “About eight hours.”
Katie: “Why don’t you just move to Texas?”
Twelve hours and lots of phone calls and conversations later, we had a new plan. Or maybe God had a plan all along.
I could be a blessing to Katie by staying with her and keeping her company for three weeks so she isn’t pregnant and alone in a new city trying to unpack an entire house. Katie could be a blessing to me by letting me stay with her and introducing me to the community and family she already knows in San Antonio.
Just like that, my life had changed again.
Now, here I am, living in Texas. The time I have spent with Katie has been the most uplifting, encouraging, and happy experience I have had in a long time. We have so many plans, including growing our business (if you want to drop body fat and optimize your life, call us!). I’m job searching and apartment hunting as I contemplate if I’ll stay in San Antonio or maybe go to Austin.
It feels good to know that I can be helpful to her in keeping her company and helping her unpack and set up her house.
We’ve also had an amazing time connecting with Katie’s friends and family in the area.
I also get to hang out with Maia and Finn.
The truth is, I don’t know where the future is going to take me. All I know is that it is going to be amazing because this was a path laid out for me by a higher power and it is definitely in service of what this whole blog is about: being my best self. I’m going to drop the ego that clung to an idea of a future in California and just ride the waves I’ve been given. For me, for now, that is Texas. For the first time in a long time, I’m surrounded by people that love me, that respect me, that treat me well. Most importantly, I love and respect myself.
And you know what? It is way more fun…to be surprised.